使用了部分简单的长难句,可适当增加一些复杂的长句;文章结构严谨,有效地使用了语句间的衔接成分;作者高级词汇量积累不足,部分单词有拼写错误。
owadays,many university students are tring to win their first bucket of gold during their four-year university life.It was reported that a few second-and third-year students in a provincial university opened six small shops near their university to prepare for the future.It became a hot spot in society soon.some argue that it may occupy too much of the students' time and energy to manage their shops, however, others consider this trying as an useful lesson for these students. For my point of view, with the famous saying goes, genuine knowledge comes from practice.Therefore, for university students, especially some economic management major students, going in for small business really can help to transfer their theory which learned from books to practical experience.It also can be precious treasures for their adapting better in society after graduation. As for wasting time which opponents highlight as a reason, actually, as a second or third-year student, they must choose a direction of their future—to devote their lifes to acadamic fields or to work in company,etc.This kind of trying can provide a chance for students for thinking which direction suits them. All in all, university is not a hermitical box, students are also an important individual part of society.If a person who didn't try the depth of river is by his feet walk through river immediately, he may be drowned in the river.So as students who enter the society without preparation.