文章词汇使用较为恰当灵活,希望能更熟练地使用高级词汇作者句法不错,但是文章整体句子稍微偏短;可适当增加连接词和衔接词的使用。
Should college students hire cleaners? It is said that some college students hire cleaners to clean their dormitory.This looks like reasonable.They paid the cleaner and they enjoyed the service.But as a college student,hiring a cleaner to do the chores for them isn't a appropriate thing. First of all,they are financially dependent on their parents.They took money from their parents.They should pay attention to use every penny.Hiring a cleaner will cost them 60 yuan a month.Their parents have a hard time to make money for them,they can't use money like this. Then,doing cleaners can improve our health.Nowadays,college students are always sitting in front of the computer.This bad for our eyes and body.Doing chores can make us more flexible and more healthy. Finally,doing cleaners by ourself can make us more independent.We can't depend on our parents or a cleaner forever.There must be one day you have to do things by yourself. So please develop our ability to do cleaning by ourselves from now. As far as i'm concerned,as our young adults,doing cleaning is our own business.Only by cleaning the dormitory by ourselves at present,can we take responsibility for country later.