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如若适当增加一些从句的使用，文章会取得更好的成绩；过渡词很丰富，衔接词同时使用的恰到好处；文中词汇表达多样性不足，在高级词汇方面尤其要多积累。
If my foreign friend will visit my hometown,I will take him to him place named XianNv mountain.The reasons why I take him to this place are as follows. Firstly,this is my favorite place of my hometown and I want to share my happiness with my friend.Secondly,in winter we can ski in the XianNv mountain,and this is the exciting activity, of course from it we can have fun.In addition,we can enjoy the scenery,and see some animals on the mountain.Last but not least,through this trip, not only can we improve our friendship but also improve our communication skills. That's all.
