拼写做的很棒,学术词汇可适量增加;作者句法基础不错,可适当增加复杂句的使用;行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用。
With the internet developing so fast and the popularization of computers, surfing the internet has become a main activity during people’s leisure time. Internet provides us information worldwide, connects us with people far away and a lot more other functions for us which really make our life more convenient and break the obstacle of distance. So making friends online is possible for common people. However, more and more people, especially parents of children, become worry about the safety of this making friends trace for internet is an unreal space after all where people cannot see or feel each other consciously. From my perspective, it isn’t so wise to make friends online. Several reasons are here to support my contention. I think most of the people once heard the saying: you may never know whether a human being or a dog you are chatting with on the internet. It indicates the uncertainty of internet which is one of the most important factors of this unreal world. It contributes to the difficulty of making sure the real identity of the person you are talking with and the possibility of all kinds of deceits. Juveniles with few life experiences and high passion of making friends online are easily be cheated on the internet which severely threatens their security. What’s more, two who become friends online would surely meet each other. Then it’s not safe at all to meet alone. What I need to emphasis is that I don’t object to make friends online, it surely is a convenient and efficient way of getting to know more people and share each other’s mind and thoughts. But the guarantee of security is the premise of all. In a word, it isn’t so wise to make friends online without any safety conscious.