文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用高级词汇就更好了;文中应增加一些长难句的使用,会为文章添彩;上下文衔接稍显不流畅。
Nowadays,Internet has connected well with our daily life.when we read some information,we use internet to research the information we need.We buy some goods in the internet and we use phone to communicate with others.What'more,when we go for a holiday to a strange city,we use phone to help us guide the road. In the terms of internet,different people have different opinions.Some people consider internet as a convenient vehicle which can make study and work more efficient. The others think teenagers pay more attention to internet so that they cannot try their best to study. As far as I am concerned,Internet is the two- edged sword to our daily life.On the one hand,It improves the quality of our life and makes life convenient.On the other hand,It is harmful to teenagers to study and work well.