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采用了简单的衔接手法，行文流畅；适当增加一些从句的使用，会为文章添彩；词汇表达丰富度要注意，不过单词拼写错误较多。
My Hometown It is beatiful of my hometown where is a place located in the centern of china.Although your liveing place is far away my hometown,I woud like you to come my birth palce to have a good and happy visit.To some extent,this visit will promote our friendly and broaden your minds of Chinese culturies. There are some valuable places and senices to visit I very want to travel with you.First of all,the fact we do not denise that the pada fewer and fewer can live comfortablly with the enviroment have been broking ,but my hometown provids them a safe and beatiful place to them live.We can go and visit the fewer anlimal of pada.Besides,there have many clear and natural senice that can make us to feel the nature's beatiful and let go to the original natural place. In conclusion,I would like you to come visit my hometown and go to feel the nature with me,whith is my best wishes .Though the travel would be tired and hard,I would try my bset let you have a good and never forget tourise.
