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语句间的衔接成分用的不错，同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富；作者词汇表达较为熟练，高级词汇使用不是很多；作者句法基本功不错，可适当增加从句的使用。
China is a bigger country than other countries in the world, in the meantime she is a one of the most beautiful countries in the whole world so in my seen, more and more cities are pretty in China. In the so many beautiful cities, my favourite city is Hangzhou, not only it's my hometown, but also graceful and restrained. there's a saying that"Up above there heaven, down below there are Suzhou and Hangzhou". In according with this, we can see some landscapes of Hangzhou. If you want to China, I'm willing to bring you to enjoy the Hangzhou's scenery, it's famous lake—Xihu, we can boating upon the lake, saw Xihu's graceful, next we can go to Tianmu mountain,over there,we can see queer stone, green hill and waterfall, my friend did you wiling to my hometown,
