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文章衔接手法恰当；可适当增加复合句和从句的使用；作者能较恰当使用丰富词汇，在高级词汇方面希望能更熟练一��。
No one can deny the fact that a great many people succeed in starting their own bussiness for the simple reason that they can come to be fully aware of the sidnificance of the spirit of persistance and courage.But there is a growing recognition of the fact that a variety of unexpected accident maybe happen as a saying"it is unwise to put all you eggs in one basket. Some reasons can be provided to support my arguments.Firstly,the way connected to success is not just one.People in mounting numbers,especially youngsters,should cumulate more experience and intellegence in daily life.In addition,a scheme should be planned to the situation which is wrong when people walk in the increasing career.To quote a great man's remark,"where is better selections,there are more hopes and opportunities."To put it in another way,the more backup we have, the more likely we are to achieve great success and attain life goals. From what we have discussed above,we can safety come to the conclusion that it is unwise to put all your eggs in one basket.we people as a whole should prepare enough plan to face the challenges.Only in this way can we have a promising future.
