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行文较为流畅，作者文中过渡词使用的不错；句式变化不明显，另外要多多加强从句在文中的比例；作者词汇积累很好，不过单词拼写方面要继续努��。
A Beautify city in China In China,where has many beautiful cities,they are scattere different areas.In China,as a saying goes‘he who has never been to the Great Wall is not a true man.' Recently,with the development of elecomical,many areas are devopled,and travel is developed.It attracts many travelers,and recent elecomic. However,in my heart,my hometown is the most beautiful city.Even if it is not many famous view.My hometown is Sihong,it lies on ancient Xuzhong.Where has a lot water,it is intitued the home of carbe.Meanwhile,where has one of the most fresh water lakes--Hongze lake.Many people invist there,and stay their cheer and laughter everywhere. In my opinon,Sihong is a beautiful city,even if it has not famous view.In there,I live tevlve years,where beacomes a part of my life.
