建议适当增加些复杂句的使用;文中衔接词丰富;适当增加高级词汇的使用,拼写错误稍微有点多。
Whether there is a shortcut to learn Nowadays,the phenomenon,students are crazy in getting high grades without working hard,rises wide concern.People have diverse opinions on whether there is a shortcut to learn.As far as I am concerned,I agree with the picture that getting good grades without working hard is in the fiction section meaning there is no shortcut to learn. There are several reasons in the following statements.To begin with,many famous people set good examples of deligence.For example,Edison always said"Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration".Edison invented the light bulb with 1500 times failing on finding a suitable lamp filament material.After his deligence and insistance,he found that the Japanese bamboo charcoal was the best filament.Until 1906,Edison improved light bulb,which has been in use to this days.Due to his hard working and insistence, he got ahead.What's more,Nelson mendela insist in battling against the racial contemn for a long years. To sum up,sums of examples of famous people tell us the true that only students working hard,can they get good grades and succeed.