作者用词生动多样,请继续努力,希望能更灵活地使用高级词汇;句法方面做的很棒,加强复杂句的使用;全文结构较为严谨,应适当增加文中衔接词的使用。
My views on Online Shopping As we all know,with the development of information technology,shopping online has become a fashion especially among the young. There are several possible reasons contributing to the popularity of online shopping.To start with,it has numerous advantages for people.Firstly,it is convenient to buy whatever we want on the Internet.We have no necessity to go outside to purchase something from place to place,which waste a lot of time and make us tired.Secondly,it can provide us with much information about which stores have bargain so that we can get commodity in an economical way.Howere,there are some problems exist.It makes us stay at home all day and be lack of exercise.Meanwhile,online fraud arises one after another. As far as I'm concerned,shopping online bring benefits to us,for it can let us shopping more effeciently and make use of remaining time doing other things.