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文中衔接词和过渡词使用的很棒；文章词汇使用较为恰当灵活，希望能更熟练地使用高级词汇作者句法知识扎实，可适当增加从句的使用。
My hometown is a magical and beautiful place where is located in the northwest of China and it have a nice name that is Aksu.Welcome to visit this beautiful place. Firstly,i want to show our famous fruit to our friend that includes red apple,bergamot pear,watermelon and so on,they accompany with me all the childhood so that it means smell of home.Of course,Xinjiang has been called the "land of melons and fruits" and it's reputation Hami melons watermelons grapes Turpan Korla pear fig Xingzi etc.Secondly,i hope you can realize that the folk culture about minority in Xinjiang.For example,dance,song and other culture will make you forget to leave. If you come here,please trust me that i will show a full of delicous food and nice scenery home to you and you must be not disappointed!
