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文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用高级词汇就更好了；作者句法知识很棒，适当增加从句的使用，会取得更不错的成绩；行文稍欠流畅，应适当增加连接词的使用。
A Beautiful City Of My Home Town I'm extremely happy to hear you will visit my hometown.If this you first time to China, I will take you visit my home town and elaborate talk about its beauty. In the first place,we can visit the great wall,because it famous for its spectacular.Meanwhile,which is a symbol of Chinese people's wise,so I wish you can experience our plentiful culture.In the second place,I will show the forbidden city to you,The reason is very simple.Due to the forbidden city is too grave and magnificent.Of course,if you come here in autumn,I will take you visit fragrant hill in beijin,it well-known for its maple leaf.I guess you must like it. In a word,I wish I can show you kind of scenery.I really hope you can come soon.
