可适当增加从句的使用,注意文中的一些小错误;上下文衔接稍显不流畅;作者词汇使用较为丰富熟练,单词拼写方面要更仔细。
So far many parents take care of all things that children shoud do it on their own, it lead to children's lazy directly. So we should give their an chance to develop their own sky. when it comes to it. How should parents help children to be independent? At first, as you see, we all college students now. We can take care of: gasoline, clothes, movies, tuition and other fee by ourselves. In order to make children independent, parents shouldn't give these to them easily. Children can solve these problem by loans, or other ways. Then parents can choice a part-time job for children. And it can mke children adapt to society ealier. If parents hope children to adapt to it solwly. Parents can help children independence from some details. For example children can wash their clothes, fold their bed, make their food. Finally, it is despensible for children to be independence.