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从句使用不足，建议增加长句和复杂句的使用；上下文衔接稍显不流畅；作者能较灵活地使用词汇，高级词汇使用较恰当，但存在一些拼写错误。
So far many parents take care of all things that children shoud do it on their own, it leads to children's lazy directly. So we should give their a chance to develop their own caree. When it comes to it. How should parents help children to be independent? Firstly, as you see, we all college students now. We can take care of: gasoline, clothes, movies, tuition and other fee by ourselves. In order to make children independent, parents shouldn't give these to them easily. Children can solve these problems by loans, or other ways. Then parents can choice a part-time job for children. And it can mke children adapt to society earlier. If parents hope children to adapt to it slowly. Parents can help children independence from some details. For example children can wash their clothes, fold their bed, make their food. Finally, it is indispensable for children to be independence.
