文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用高级词汇就更好了;文章结构严谨,有效地使用了语句间的衔接成分;若注意部分错误,文章会更漂亮;
Xueshen Qian is a great man in my heart, who had great strong spring and devoted his life to our nation.When i was young, i dreamed to be a scientist like Qian. As we all know ,Qian was professor and had a good in life before he came back china. In order to build a new china,he worked so hard as for his wife always complained that she cannot see he in several months.Actually, he love his family in heart and soul.All of should thank Qian ,because of he and numerous scientists’ devotion brought peace to china. I know I am not intelligent,but i will try my best to study and make my mind to become scientist to live a meaningful life.