语句间的衔接成分用的不错,同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富;拼写很棒,可适当增加高级词汇的使用;作者句法很棒,合理使用了复杂句;
Locating in the south of China, My hometown is zhaoqing where is considered as the model of city’green,because it have 90% place was covered by trees and the citizen have the awareness of to protect the green facilities. So when my foreign friend comes to visit my hometown,I will lead he to climb the highest mountain of zhaoqing. There are several reasons why I will do this. First of all, on the top of mountain, we can breathe the fresh air and see the while city slight.Second,climbing can let me know that if we want to get some nice things, we should pay some effort and overcome some difficulties, of course, we also must help each other, so it can promote friendship.Firdly,in the process, I will present the double ninth festival. From what bas been discussed, we can know it is wonderful that lead my foreign friend to climb the mountain of my hometown.