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采用了恰当的衔接手法，层次清晰；可适当增加从句的使用；文章用了较为丰富的词汇，高级词汇略显单薄，同时注意单词拼写的检查；
I'm very delighted to hear that a foreign will take vavation in my hometown and there is no doubt that we will realize a facinating place. By and large,my hometown is famous for all kinds of fruits and nature scenes and as we all know,people always call it 'land of lemons and fruits',which including Aksu apple,Hami lemon,kuerle pear,watermelon and so on.Of course,you can also sample local various magic and ancient culture that had been develop thousands years ago.In other words,you will feel differernt culture and fall in love with it if you arrive there and fully feel the culture. Finally,I really hope you can like there if you can come and my families will welcome you with a very enthusiam in my hometown!Come on!
