句式灵活多变,再加强从句的使用会更棒;全文结构较为严谨;请作者增加词汇表达的丰富度,另外文中有较多拼写错误。
my home,where at the xiaoshang hangzhou,my home have fife people ,wife miss xu and my son jerry and my wife's parents.our live very happy,we go to climb mounting ,at aftenoon,then back home at 18:00,we like sports,becaues sports will make our healthy.sometimes,we go to walk go outside ,becuse outside's air is fresh.