文章结构不错,使用了丰富的衔接词和过渡词;有效地采用了一些简单的从句为文章增色;文中词汇表达不够丰富,同时请仔细检查词汇的拼写。
my home,where at the xiaoshang hangzhou,my home have fife persons ,wife miss xu and my son jerry and my wife's parents.our live very happy,we go to climb mounting ,at aftenoon,then back home at 18:00,we like sports,because sports will make our healthy.sometimes,we go to walk go outside ,because outside's air is fresh.