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有效地采用了多种衔接方法，层次清晰；可适当增加从句的使用；文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用高级词汇就更好了。
At the modern time,I have much time to relax at home,while I have these time,I don't know how to use these time.Sometimes,I can sleep in the morning,and hang out with my best friends or alone.Nonetheless I think play one or two day which not study is good,however,if the spare time which can become too long,I can feel boring,because I do that things again and again in leisure time.It is too laughable that at school,students who don't like studying,while stay at home who can also feel tired. The greatest use of life,I believe that people should take a plan about what time people should do what.When the time get absolutely clear,the life can enrich.In the matter of fact,people should also have a little patient when they do these things.
