文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用高级词汇就更好了;文中应增加一些长难句的使用,会为文章添彩;全文结构较为严谨。
It was recently reported in a newspaper that six students who shared a dorm at a local university hired a cleaner to do laundry and cleaning once a week. And each of them paid her 60 Yuan a month. Some think is good for college student because it can help student to save time to study.Other think is bad for them because it makes student lack of responsibility and independence. As for as I am concerned, college student should not hire cleaners. Why I stick to keep this opinion, the reasons is that: First,college student is adult. Not only do they have ability to take care of themselves,but also have ability to do laundry and cleaning.What more, doing laundry and cleaning is the easy job, all of us can do these easily and quickly. Second, their spare time is sufficient enough. I think the opinion that college student hire cleaner can help student to save time to study is not correct.Because the spare time in college is sufficient enough.Therefore, they have many time to do laundry and cleaning. However, they hire cleaners stead of themselves to do laundry and cleaning, this may lead to them to be lazy. Last, student do not have job to support their life and study,they still get the money from their parents.They should each of them pay 60 Yuan a month if they hire cleaners.This will expand the expenditure to increase their parents' pressure.So, college student hire cleaner is not a good way. In conclusion, college student should not hire cleaners to do laundry and cleaning.As a college student, we should improve our responsibility and independence. Do not be a lazy guy,let us do the small things like laundry and cleaning from now on!