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拼写很棒，可适当增加高级词汇的使用；可适当增加长句和复杂句的使用；文章采用了适当的过渡词和衔接词，结构比较严谨。
It was recently reported in a newspaper that six students who shared a dorm at a local university hired a cleaner to do laundry and cleaning once a week. Each of them paid her 60 Yuan a month. Some think it is good for college student because it can help student to save time to study.Other think it is bad for them because it makes student lack of responsibility and independence. As far as I am concerned, college student should not hire cleaners. Why I stick to have this opinion, the reasons are that: First,college student is adult. Not only do they have ability to take care of themselves,but also have ability to do laundry and cleaning.What's more, doing laundry and cleaning are the easy job, all of us can do these easily and quickly anytime. Second, their spare time is sufficient enough. I think the opinion that college student hired cleaners can help student to save time to study is not correct because the spare time in college is sufficient enough.Therefore, they have much time to do laundry and cleaning. However, they hired cleaners stead of themselves to do laundry and cleaning, this may lead to them to be lazy. Last, student does not have job to support their life and study,so they still get the money from their parents. Each of them paid 60 Yuan a month if they hired cleaners.This will expand the expenditure to increase their parents' pressure.So, it is not a good way to hire cleaners for college student. In conclusion, college student should not hire cleaners to do laundry and cleaning.As a college student, we should enhance the awareness of responsibility and independence. Do not be a lazy guy,let us do the small things like laundry and cleaning from now on!
