简单句比重过高,另应加强复杂句的练习;作者词汇量积累很好,高级词汇积累要重视;层次不清晰,几乎没有使用衔接词。
Dear Dad(Mum), You’re so busy every day that you don’t pay much attention to your health. I’m worried about your health all the time. I’d like to give you some suggestions. I hear walking is the best sport. Your company isn’t far from home, is it? Why not walk to the office? You’d better take exercise at least once a week, such as playing tennis in the gym. Going to swim is also a nice choice, too. What’s more, it’s necessary to have healthy food. Try not to stay up too late. Having enough sleep can help your brain work better. Dad, please accept my advice. I really wish you healthy! Your loving son (daughter) Tom (Mary)