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采用了恰当的衔接手法，层次清晰；作者能较灵活准确地使用词汇表达，但高级词汇的积累还有很大的空间；作者句法基础不错，可适当增加复杂句的使用。
In contemporary society, the discussion of education of children has become increasingly controversial. All of the parents hope that their children can receive a more efficient education, and needless to state the atmosphere of the education is the most significant part in the consideration of it. So which is best for children to rise, countryside or big city? Points range from person to person. Others agree that the quality of education is greater than the countryside while I opposite against this view. I totally agree with the standpoint which mentioned in the statement: a better education could children receive in the countryside. To begin with, children who study in the countryside maybe more mature than those students in the vast city. The statement has taught in the big city is studying or fail, as a result of this statement is that children can not but be must study even though they do not fit to do such a thing. Children in the big city may easily get bored with studying and more easy to lose the ability of controlling their temper. Contrarily，the children study in the countryside has variety choices of their life. So they just do things they liked so they have not been difficult to monitor their temper. Conclusively, children in the countryside are more mature than the children in the big city. In addition, children those who study in the countryside have more opportunity to put themselves into practices while those children in the big city seldom have an opportunity. The reason for this is explained by the fact that there is no more space in the city for these children to have a real practice. As a consequence, what they learn at school in a big city cannot impress them. However, this will be allowed to happen in the countryside, so what they learned can deeply impress them in all their lives. So the quality of schooling in the countryside sometimes is higher than a big city. In conclusion, according to all the evidence showed above i one hundred percent agree with the statement mentioned: It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city
