文中用词稍显贫乏;若加强一些复杂句和从句的使用,文章会更棒;结构较为严谨,文中衔接成分很少。
My school is on Sanya City,Hainan province and my school is the Phoenix primary school.Do you know? I am a pupil of grade two and my first grade charge teacher was Mai-hong Ting teacher. And now the teacher in charge is Gao Lei and maths teacher is Li-you Jin.(Grade two) My best classmate is Li-wei Bo and Luo-xue Han.