注意文中个别的句子错误;建议作者增加过程性词汇的使用;文中词汇表达稍欠丰富,但单词拼写做的很棒。
since the year of 2010,our country has several school crimes of kill,it leads to people's surprise ,what should we do to prevent it from happening from my point of view, i think we should strengthen the safety in school,we should improve the protection of students.Meanwhile,we should take on some security guards