正确句子比例较高,适当增加复杂句的使用,文章会更出色;层次不清晰,几乎没有使用衔接词;请作者增加词汇表达的丰富度,且要加强拼写检查。
Football game is my favoried excesice. I loved football by chance. One day, I picked up a football whey I came back home. After then, my friends and I began to play with this football. And I found I have fall in love with playing football. I have many football excesice and compatition with my classmate. I like Davies Bakam mostly, who is the famouse football star from England. I wish to become a professional football player.