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文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用高级词汇就更好了；作者句法知识很棒，适当增加从句的使用，会取得更不错的成绩；文章层次较为清晰。
Nowadays,there is a hot debate on whether college students should hire cleaners in their daily life.Some people think that it is good to do so because this may make students to live easily. But in my eyes,the disadvantages of hiring cleaners to help them clean their dormitory outweigh the advantages. First,hiring cleaners in their daily life is harmful for them.Hiring cleaners to help them clean dormitory will make them lazy.And as college students,it is necessary to have independent awareness. We must master some basic knowledge of life. As time went by,we get older and older,and gradually we have to leave our friends and parents to marry.If we can do nothing, it will give rise to many serious problem. Only can we do everything in person, we can have a regular and beautiful life. Second,hiring cleaners in their daily life is ,in fact, not a wise idea. Because of too much free time in college school, we have enough time to clean the dormitory with our roommates,and I think it's very easy for us. In addition, if we hire cleaners,we must give money to them.I think it is ,in essence,a way to waste money. If we don't do housework in person,we can never do them very well. It is true that hiring cleaners in our daily life may have some advantages.For example,it may save students's time to study hard.But overall this behavior is not good.In all, it is necessary for our students to have a consciousness that try their best to do everything well in person around them.
