行文较为流畅,作者文中过渡词使用的不错;适当增加一些从句的使用,会为文章添彩;作者能较多样的使用词汇表达,但要注意词汇拼写的检查。
In my mind , first and foremost , as communication between young people with their family member . This is the most improtant thing for a normaly life . The parents want to know about their children everything : soch as what they eat , what they feel , and what they need ; The homework is hard , the classmate is nice , the teacher is amiable . All of the things the parents take care. In 1998 , the computer and video game were pouplar . 80 percent yound people like it very much . When the weekends , after school , and in the holiday , all of the time used to play games(as some guys like reading novels ) . They do not have anytime to talk with parents , shared their good happens or bad happens . Parents want to help their children to solve the difffcult problem . Such as homework , or something as a boy likes a girl and what are the most important things to look for in a relationship with a man or a woman . They like to play with their children and talk with them . Even just told something especially stories their known . They like shopping with their kids , told they which food made they stronger ; which kind food is junk food , you just tasty it and do not eat too much . They would like to teach you how to make a delicious food and some detail about how to wash the clothes . All of young people need to take out your book , phone , and computer , spent more time with your parents and your family . You can help parents to cook a dinner , and tell them you like it . You can watch TV together and laugh out loud . You need to ask help when you do not know how to solve the problem . You need to say good night when you go to sleep . Please to take more and more time with your parents and your family even just go for a walk . That is the most happy memory in your life . Please hand it ! Do not waste too much time for the video games or online games , take more and more time chaperonage with your parents and your family ; when you are old you will thank yourself for today . I am sincerely hope all of the young people take more and more time chaperonage with your parents and your family . They are is the only one who from a small baby to a young men has been on your side . The games and noves are just killing time , it is not your life . Do not waste time on that , cherish your time with your parents and your family .