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句法知识很棒，若增加一些从句的使用，文章会更出色；文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用高级词汇就更好了；文章层次较为清晰。
A Beautiful City in China Welcome to my hometown!My hometown is a historical place,where there are thousands of people to visit.Nowsaday,I am glad to take you to see it and enjoy yourself. What's impressed most people is the Grate Wall,which is one of few man-made objects on earth that can be seen on moon.Meanwhile,its all work was done by hand.As a consequence,it's the symbol of a high degree of wisdom in ancient China.From a distance,the Grate Wall is as likely as a dragon,protecting China.The Grate Wall is Chinese ancient defence project.What's more,it shows the Chinese national long history.Known as "one of the great wonders of the world",the Grate Wall has become the symbol of the Chinese nation and its culture. Beijing not only has the Grate Wall,but also has other places of interest such as Beihai park.Welcome to your next visit!
