从句使用不熟练;文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用高级词汇就更好了;衔接成分偏少。
The computers have played a very important part in our every life.But do you know anything about the first computer?The first computer was invented in the US.Its size was really large.It is as large as a room.Of cause it weighed over thirty tons,so you can imagine that using it is a very difficult thing.This large and heavy computer could just do some easy work.But now,computers have changed a lot.They don't large anymore.People can put them into their bags easily,today's computers work well.It becomes more and more popular.In a developed country,people have their own computers.The computers have become an important part of people's daily life.