简单句型过多,从句使用不熟练;文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用高级词汇就更好了;可适当增加连接词和衔接词的使用。
My hometown is in HangZhou,ZheJiang.As we all know,it's a very famous view place in China.There are many beautiful views in there and many nice people.Now,let us see this city. First of all,we can go to the west lake.Many tourists will go there see the view and taking many photos.Secondly,we can have a fun experience to pick the tea.It is very interesting.And than,you can drink a cup of tea of LongJing in the afternoon.It's so relaxing.Finally,we can go the HeFang street.There are many delicious snacks and there still keep some history.Many people like to go there have fun. Welcome to China,there also have many famous history views.It is believed that my hometown will let you satisfied with it.Come on.