采用了恰当的衔接手法,层次清晰;文中应增加一些长难句的使用,会为文章添彩;请注意词汇表达的多样性及拼写错误,尤其加强高级词汇的使用。
When time gose by, not only people have changed, but also have the place where we lived changed. Last year I went to my home town but I found it was not familiar to me. Many years ago, there are a lot of trees in my home town and the air is fresh. Well, the river is very clean and we can see the fish clearly. Now, as the dustray develops , more and more problems appear. The traffic have been crowded and the pollution get worse increasingly.