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文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用高级词汇就更好了；衔接词和过渡词用的很不错；文中应增加一些长难句的使用，会为文章添彩。
At modern times,there is always existing discrimination to disabled people. Those people are born with defective,and I believed that our normal people have no rights to look down these people. Human is born to equal,nobody is special. So, our normal people should do favor to those who have defective people. Firstly,no discriminate to those people. When we meet disabled people,we should regard them as ordinary people rather than monster,we should be considerately to help them to take over the embarrass rather than trick at they. Secondly, do more favor to these people. we should help help them to get cross when we meet blind people waiting at streets. We should build up a belief that disabled people first. Whatever running for work,or some emergency things. Lastly,to make ourselves perfect We can through improve our ability to gain skills,then we can do more for disabled people.
