采用了恰当的衔接手法,层次清晰;文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用高级词汇就更好了;可适当增加复合句和从句的使用。
Nowadays, online shopping is more and more popular in the world, which brings an easier and swift life to our daily life. The positive of online shopping is saving our time, for that we can do more other import things, as well as we can have more choices on shopping. However, online shopping also has a negative effect, because we may spend money buying something was not good. What's more, it makes result in us being lazy that staying at home rather than going out. From where I stand, I think it is more harmful than good,shopping online can make us go out and have a relaxation. What's more, it is good to us to get close and have fun with our friends. Undoubtly, I strongly believe that not shopping online, just going out.