拼写很棒,可适当增加高级词汇的使用;文中应增加一些长难句的使用,会为文章添彩;文章采用了适当的过渡词和衔接词,结构比较严谨。
With the development of economy ,the living standards have great improvement .Especially the advance of the internet, our life becomes more and more conveninent .But many of my peers as they make use of internet improper are addicted to the internet .for that reason ,they refuse to study hard. Why are the teenagers easily addicted to the internet.I don't think that they have a strong will. During the long history in China ,the people who has a strong will can finish the great assignment ,such as MAOZEDONG and SUNZHONGSHAN.In my eyes,they have a strong will in order to finish their goals which set a good example to us .therefore, the youngsters are looking up to them. As a student, a strong will is very important for us to overcome the difficulties in learning and finally make greater progress. In addition ,a strong will is very helpful for us to become an upright optimistic active and enterprising people. After all, I certainly think that people who has a strong will can keep on seeking for their goal and never give up easily.