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过渡词和衔接词使用的比较不错；若增加一些从句的使用，文章会取得更好的成绩；文章用了较为丰富的词汇，高级词汇略显单薄，同时注意单词拼写的检查。
What is happiness When i was a child,I didn't know what the meaning of happiness and i asked my mother.My mother smiled and said:if you can give me a hand,i think you can get a perfect anwser by yourself. After that,mom gave me a electric fan which is damaged and asked for me to repair it well.it made me superised ,I didn't know why did i can get an anwser from it.Howere, I not had choice but to repair it.It was too difficult for me who only had seven years old.After one hour,I still didn't know how to do.Suddenly,I thougt of it's specification,then i started to try to repair it .There was no doubt that i still encountered many problem but i solve them by myself.Finelly, I repaired it competely and I felt unprecedented happy. At that time,i understood a principle which was that we couldn't feel happiness from that without any problems,only when we face some difficult problem and we need to solve them by ourselves,can we feel that our value.
