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拼写很棒，可适当增加高级词汇的使用；句法知识很棒，若增加一些从句的使用，文章会更出色；全文结构较为严谨。
My favourite place in my hometown is the Red Garden. I’d like to take you to visit it. The Red Garden had existed when I was born. It’s very beautiful because of many trees, flowers, boats, small houses in it. It was decorated with typical Chinese style. If you walk along the small road of the Red Garden, You can see the stone lions, classical Chinese style houses and so on. When you walk to the end, there are some electrical amusement facilities and the swings, slides. As my mother’s company was nearby the Red Garden. So I often played in this area when I was a child with my sister and brother. If you could come to the Red Garden, you will love it immediately and you will have a happy day there.
