文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用高级词汇就更好了;文章结构不错,使用了丰富的衔接词和过渡词;文中应增加一些长难句的使用,会为文章添彩。
Nowadays,we always rely on digital machines in this "Digtal Age".Every day,we just watch our mobile phones or computers so that we miss something more important than these.For example,when we were having dinner together with our family on weekend.We prefer to talk with someone who are strange than having a small talking with our parents. Time is cheaper than anything else but when you need it that even if you are a millionaire ,you can not buy it.So,time is money.We should have a proper way to use our time.Don`t be a slaver to your digital machines.