句法很棒,若适当增加一些从句的使用,文章会取得更好的成绩;拼写很棒,可适当增加高级词汇的使用;采用了简单的衔接手法,行文流畅。
With the development of science and education, more and more people live in the big cities, where are far away their hometown. It is commonly belief that migration may offer new job opportunities, as well as better education and assess to the health care for both themselves and their children. I actually agree with this, but I sincerely believe that my hometown, Lei Zhou, is the best city in my heart. Lei Zhou is a quiet small green seaside city, with small population, and economic backwardness. However, as a national historic city in China, Lei Zhou is a city with a long history. West Lake park, keeps our memory with 10 famous writers such as Su Dongpo and their works. Sanyuan Tower, is nine levels high, where you can look around the whole city. What is more, Lei Zhou is a food heaven in the south of mainland of China. Lei Zhou is underdeveloped, but it is lovely, it is my hometown, and welcome to my hometown.