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文中应增加一些长难句的使用，会为文章添彩；作者能较多样地使用词汇，高级词汇的使用也比较灵活；全文结构较为严谨，应适当增加文中衔接词的使用。
Recently the rise in phenomenon of online shopping has aroused popular concern, even become a fasion. There is no doubt that shopping online is more convenience, and the goods also much cheaper than that in center. But every corn has two sides, it also has its negative effects. For one thing, instead go to shopping mall, the time people sit in front of the computer increase which really harm for health. For another thing, it really impact the economy of the physical store even led them to close down. Still another, the quality of commodies from online are uncertain. It's obviously to see everything has its benefit and disadvantage. As far as I am concerned, it's better for people to buy the needs in person. And I really hope the online seller could improve their commodities quality.
