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结构良好，但是语言不流畅；可适当增加从句和复杂句的使用，注意文中的几处句子错误；作者词汇表达不够丰富，另外要仔细检查词汇的拼写。
the greatet use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it there is a different thing that everyone spend usefully on .maybe,base of one`s intersiting.justly me,i am interesting clambing tiff,for this sport i think it can trining my menting .there is greater effect on my life.come on boys hard study,we are life ,we are study.
