文中过渡词和衔接词使用较少;单词拼写做的很好,请注意积累词汇量;丰富从句的使用,文章会更出色。
my father was a very kind person, he always give me money to buy sugar, he is a white suit , he must always get up at 7o,clock ,and he will cook the breakfast for me and my sister . he will return back on 7 clock .my father was very busy , but he never said that he is tired ,he always smiled with our family.