E-mail: zhangping@yahoo.com
正确句子比例很高,但需多多加强从句的使用;文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用高级词汇就更好了;衔接成分太少,文章结构欠佳。
Dear Sir, My name is Zhang Ping. I’m 25. I graduated in a famous university-Zhejiang University. I was a top student in my college. My English level is 6 degree (I have passed the English Examination of 6 degree) and I like spoken English. I like computer games very much so I’m good at computer. I like sports and I’m healthy and strong. I haven’t got one year’s experience but I practiced for a month in a company. I think I am able to do the job very well. I will be very pleased if I have a chance to work in your company. My telephone number is 010-85898866 and my e-mail is zhangping@yahoo.com. Your faithfully, Zhang Ping