采用了适当的衔接手法,层次清晰;简单句比重稍微偏高,注意极个别句子错误;作者能词汇表达较准确熟练,但请仔细检查词汇的拼写。
the beautifu city in China I think the most beautiful city in China is my hometown ,Shenzhen.There are many beaches and many beatuiful as well as interesting place in there . Nowadays,in shenzhen, Dongmen is a valuable place for us to go shopping .There are many main strees and malls there .If you go shopping there ,you will think the price of goods are competitive and reasonable . Shenzhen not only is a good place to go shopping but also is a good place to relax . There are a lot of sea and beaches such as Dameisha and Jiaochangwei etc. Now ,there is an increasing number of people come to Shenzhen in order to relax . You can have a walk after the dinner . Also, you can throw a party or BBQ with your friends . As we all known , shenzhen is near the HongKong , thus,it is pretty convient for us to come to HongKong . All in all , when you want to hve a trip ,Shenzhen is a good choice for you to select.