可适当增加从句和复杂句使用;文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用高级词汇就更好了;采用了简单的衔接手法,行文流畅。
Several years ago, my hometown was a beautiful town where was surrounded by lush green trees. It had a limpid river you could see the fishes playing inside. Everywhere was clean and the air was fresh although the house was sample and the streets were crowded. People lived comfortably although they worked hard. But it has much difference now, only a few trees remain, the river isn't clean at all where has no fish been inside. As economic development, there are many tall buildings, many kinds of shops and many cars, also there are the noise and the tail gas. So the most important thing now is that stopping polluting and protecting environment.