commit a crime 犯罪
采用了恰当的衔接手法,层次清晰;可适当增加从句的使用;文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用高级词汇就更好了。
As is known to all, the abuse of drug was a quite serious problem in the world because there are so many people died due to drug abuse each year. The 26th June is the International Day Against Drug Abuse, and I would like to call on all the middle school students to resist Drug and cherish their lives and health as Drug would bring their devastating harm. To begin with, Drug does great harm to their health which can lead to cardiopathy and high blood pressure. What's more, it is easy for people to be addicted to Drug, which means you can not get rid of Drud easily once you tasted it. Besides, you must spend a lot of money on Drug if you are addicted to it. Thus you might commit a crime in order to get more money. Finally, Drug may cause you isolate from others and hurt your relationship with your family and friends. I suggest all the students should stay away from those Drugers and call the police for help if you find people around you are addicted to Drug. In a word, stay away Drug and love yourself!