采用了适当的衔接手法,层次清晰;有效地采用了一些简单的从句为文章增色;请作者仔细检查词汇的拼写,同时高级词汇量还要多多积累。
Dear Jorn: I hear from LiYi that you will visit my hometown rcently, l am so excited that I cann`t prevent a impulsion to tell you the most interesting place in my hometown I will introduce to you when you come here. The first place is desert park which is located in north from my hometown, you may haven`t see such eidolon is seat in green-and-moist city, yes, she is really exist and she`s name is "ku mu ta ge " desert, every year many people invlove forigner come to there in order to feeling the soul of nature. The another place I would show you is named fire mountain, form the name you can imagine the specia of this place, the temperature can reach in 60 degrees, that means one egg could be fryed and you can eat it in one minut. You must be confused such hot place how we can go there, the question you need not think about it, because the degree that I have told you is the temperature of the top of the mountain, you can choice the hight by you own condition. That is the most populer place in my hometown, I will bring you to see it, wish you have a good journey in my hometown. see you soon. yours luowenhui March, 19 in 2015