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拼写做的很棒，学术词汇可适量增加；过渡词很丰富，衔接词同时使用的恰到好处；从句使用稍显不足，注意个别句子错误。
Should Cell Phone Be Allowed in Middle School? Nowadays, concern the problem of should cell phone be used in middle school there is a heated discussion now. Some holds that students who can be influenced by the using mobile phone, but others maintain a totally different argument about the issue. Although the former view has something in point my favorite still goes for the latter one,as well as a sea of reason can be account for it, yet I will review the most significant. Mobile phone is a beneficial tool , we could communicate with other citizens, explore Internet even close the deal, and so forth. All of this lead to the fact that cell phone has become an indispensable device in our daily-life as time goes by it will show more profound significant. So we have adequate reason to believe that hardly can anyone live better without a cell-phone. However, middle schools’ department should make corresponding rule for mobile-used. Eventually，only when students use mobile phones in a proper way can they hope to enjoy a more convenient and comfortable life.
